The coming back in life is never late...
I was the smallest i think.. Yes in my class i was the smallest... So naturally I was placed in the first bench and as i was always well behaved and well studying student in my teachers' good books too. But I never missed out in maintaining my contacts in the back bench for all adventures and challenging experiences.. The back bench guys had to shave their beard daily where as i never ever had shaved once.. So they were considered very powerful.
I used to maintain the same hair style which my mother insisted that is to comb to oneside...But the fashion was disco style to comb backward. It was the season of having a lover and those who had was considered brave and role models. The other ways to get noticed were if you smoke or cut classes and walk outside or go for movies. I never had the guts for it or was a too good boy for these things. But being loved by somebody was something which i wanted somewhere in the corner of my heart..
Some lovers always used me to exchange letters to their Lovelace as it was very safe to go through me. Neither i was a competitor nor teachers doubted me. When things get worse and teachers smell something fishy they used to come and conduct love letter raids. I still remember saving my classmate by spontaneously exchanging a book during the raid and there by moving the love letters out of the sight.
In my class we had one such established case and I used to help them frequently. Then the thought came that i also should have someone to write to... Then as a joke i started to tease her younger sister who was in the same class. No body ever took me serious i am sure and also i was not really brave or serious. We were really kids grown together in the same school and literally did not know what it was..
The last day farewell happened with tears and writing autographs ... We were separated and were back to our own lives.. Even though i was the first in the class and school i had to go to work due to family conditions.
She was studying in the college and it was one day on my way to office i came to know through my friend that she is studying in that particular college ... Those days we don't even have land phones properly in middle income rented houses so literally no communications. And One day ... I met her on the way back from college. For me it was somewhere the love plant coming back to life.. We had juice together and was formal and left...
Now I knew the time they come and some days even when i saw them never went in front of them being afraid. Those days to go and tell someone "I love you" was a great thing. Days passed and i was helpless not knowing what to do.. Like a camel in the desert i found my friend appeared from nowhere and offered to help. But being afraid I avoided for many days.. At last due to his persistence i gathered strength ...
The day came where i decided to ..... I waited and he also came with me... I was shivering and sweating... Minutes passed like centuries... Finally i saw them coming from the end of the road. Both the sisters.. I had the confidence that the elder sister cant say anything as i know her case well. I was drained fully. Gathering all the confidence we went and stood in front of the sisters. My friend told her sister that we want to talk something private so please stay little away. It was so impolite and he exploded the bomb. "He is always thinking of you.. He is not eating and sleeping well.. Without you he cant live ..." That is all i heard .. Not that it was all true.. I almost fainted.. Half conscious i heard her saying that "Sorry i have not considered him like that" rest nothing i heard and this itself was enough to lose the half consciousness i had...
He tried to give me solace saying the girls will always say like this only. You should pursue further and she will become positive. But i was not that bad a boy to go behind someone who doesn't like me. Dejected, Depressed returned to the office. I stopped going in that way.. Despite my friends advise i refused to meet her for years. But the seed had not burned...
After many years i came to know that she has started working ... My friends gave me the confidence and after days of persual one day i decided to visit her in the office.. Oh God.. it was hell coming down for me.. Some how i managed and met her she smiled and received and spoke to her few min may be.. I did not remember what i spoke but was too tensed to be there for long but also came back sad.
Days continued and years passed.. I returned to my native to continue studies which was discontinued due to the financial conditions. One day i received a letter from my friends saying that their parents are looking for marriage proposals and i should do something if i am serious. The funny part is my mother received it and opened and read it and created a big scene at home threatening to tell to father. I brushed it off saying it was some old case and gone. I neither was settled in life nor she had ever accepted the love for me.. With pain i let it go from my mind....
After that no news about her... Life passed... After 20 years one day i met her as a great surprise... God is great... Whomever we wanted to see.. Whomever we wish good. HE will bring them to you at least just to show that they are good ... And it was really a divine intervention... I was a guest in a function and went to give a speech.. She saw me and she could not recognize me. But i saw her and instantly recognized her. After the speech was over i thought i will not see her and i did not attempt to as i was a guest there.
But God had planned everything.. I was waiting to leave and there she crossed me and i spontaneously called her name and there she was spell bound looking at me and recognizing me...We shared a few minutes of joy together and later left for the day agreeing to catch up later.
The next day we spoke in length about what happened in her life and so on... Now she is married and have a kid and is settled in life. After gaining the confidence which i did not have for 27 years i asked her "Did you ever liked me"... She said that time it was never clear for her.. But she asked "Why you did not come back to me".... I was broken in to pieces... I remembered my old friend saying ...
"Girls are like this they will not admit first if you are persistent they will agree.."
Oh God..
I was too good to love or like ...
I was too afraid to love or like ...
I was too childish to love or like ...
I asked her why you did not come back to me.. She replied she did not know where i was... How to reach out to ....
In those times i am sure Millions of budding lovers (soft corners) would have lost it this way because we did not know...or we were afraid.. or we were very immature.
But today Millions are losing because they know more than what they should know.. they dont fear anybody in this planet.. and they too matured for their age.....
Balance is Love... Balance is Life... I realize today...
Now I have come back.. but it is too late.. We are settled in our own lives contented...
The impressions as children were very strong.. were very pure.. were very intense..
Some where Love has not died... Feverishness has died.. Desires have died...
Now we are happy to have found in each other the lost friend...
To support each other, to care, to share when in need..
Long live love... Long live Life....
I realize that it was all for good. So that I could pursue what i wanted to in my life and dedicate my life to it...
Yes i am still not married.... God has the master plan... And he is executing it with the perfection it requires...
I used to maintain the same hair style which my mother insisted that is to comb to oneside...But the fashion was disco style to comb backward. It was the season of having a lover and those who had was considered brave and role models. The other ways to get noticed were if you smoke or cut classes and walk outside or go for movies. I never had the guts for it or was a too good boy for these things. But being loved by somebody was something which i wanted somewhere in the corner of my heart..
Some lovers always used me to exchange letters to their Lovelace as it was very safe to go through me. Neither i was a competitor nor teachers doubted me. When things get worse and teachers smell something fishy they used to come and conduct love letter raids. I still remember saving my classmate by spontaneously exchanging a book during the raid and there by moving the love letters out of the sight.
In my class we had one such established case and I used to help them frequently. Then the thought came that i also should have someone to write to... Then as a joke i started to tease her younger sister who was in the same class. No body ever took me serious i am sure and also i was not really brave or serious. We were really kids grown together in the same school and literally did not know what it was..
The last day farewell happened with tears and writing autographs ... We were separated and were back to our own lives.. Even though i was the first in the class and school i had to go to work due to family conditions.
She was studying in the college and it was one day on my way to office i came to know through my friend that she is studying in that particular college ... Those days we don't even have land phones properly in middle income rented houses so literally no communications. And One day ... I met her on the way back from college. For me it was somewhere the love plant coming back to life.. We had juice together and was formal and left...
Now I knew the time they come and some days even when i saw them never went in front of them being afraid. Those days to go and tell someone "I love you" was a great thing. Days passed and i was helpless not knowing what to do.. Like a camel in the desert i found my friend appeared from nowhere and offered to help. But being afraid I avoided for many days.. At last due to his persistence i gathered strength ...
The day came where i decided to ..... I waited and he also came with me... I was shivering and sweating... Minutes passed like centuries... Finally i saw them coming from the end of the road. Both the sisters.. I had the confidence that the elder sister cant say anything as i know her case well. I was drained fully. Gathering all the confidence we went and stood in front of the sisters. My friend told her sister that we want to talk something private so please stay little away. It was so impolite and he exploded the bomb. "He is always thinking of you.. He is not eating and sleeping well.. Without you he cant live ..." That is all i heard .. Not that it was all true.. I almost fainted.. Half conscious i heard her saying that "Sorry i have not considered him like that" rest nothing i heard and this itself was enough to lose the half consciousness i had...
He tried to give me solace saying the girls will always say like this only. You should pursue further and she will become positive. But i was not that bad a boy to go behind someone who doesn't like me. Dejected, Depressed returned to the office. I stopped going in that way.. Despite my friends advise i refused to meet her for years. But the seed had not burned...
After many years i came to know that she has started working ... My friends gave me the confidence and after days of persual one day i decided to visit her in the office.. Oh God.. it was hell coming down for me.. Some how i managed and met her she smiled and received and spoke to her few min may be.. I did not remember what i spoke but was too tensed to be there for long but also came back sad.
Days continued and years passed.. I returned to my native to continue studies which was discontinued due to the financial conditions. One day i received a letter from my friends saying that their parents are looking for marriage proposals and i should do something if i am serious. The funny part is my mother received it and opened and read it and created a big scene at home threatening to tell to father. I brushed it off saying it was some old case and gone. I neither was settled in life nor she had ever accepted the love for me.. With pain i let it go from my mind....
After that no news about her... Life passed... After 20 years one day i met her as a great surprise... God is great... Whomever we wanted to see.. Whomever we wish good. HE will bring them to you at least just to show that they are good ... And it was really a divine intervention... I was a guest in a function and went to give a speech.. She saw me and she could not recognize me. But i saw her and instantly recognized her. After the speech was over i thought i will not see her and i did not attempt to as i was a guest there.
But God had planned everything.. I was waiting to leave and there she crossed me and i spontaneously called her name and there she was spell bound looking at me and recognizing me...We shared a few minutes of joy together and later left for the day agreeing to catch up later.
The next day we spoke in length about what happened in her life and so on... Now she is married and have a kid and is settled in life. After gaining the confidence which i did not have for 27 years i asked her "Did you ever liked me"... She said that time it was never clear for her.. But she asked "Why you did not come back to me".... I was broken in to pieces... I remembered my old friend saying ...
"Girls are like this they will not admit first if you are persistent they will agree.."
Oh God..
I was too good to love or like ...
I was too afraid to love or like ...
I was too childish to love or like ...
I asked her why you did not come back to me.. She replied she did not know where i was... How to reach out to ....
In those times i am sure Millions of budding lovers (soft corners) would have lost it this way because we did not know...or we were afraid.. or we were very immature.
But today Millions are losing because they know more than what they should know.. they dont fear anybody in this planet.. and they too matured for their age.....
Balance is Love... Balance is Life... I realize today...
Now I have come back.. but it is too late.. We are settled in our own lives contented...
The impressions as children were very strong.. were very pure.. were very intense..
Some where Love has not died... Feverishness has died.. Desires have died...
Now we are happy to have found in each other the lost friend...
To support each other, to care, to share when in need..
Long live love... Long live Life....
I realize that it was all for good. So that I could pursue what i wanted to in my life and dedicate my life to it...
Yes i am still not married.... God has the master plan... And he is executing it with the perfection it requires...
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