Straight From the Big Mind ......

Seva:   Where Did it Start in My Life ??? When I used to go all the way to the next street to show the way to the strangers in my childhood ?? When i used to show my answer paper to my friends to copy ?? When I used to spend my nights in hospitals for friends and relatives whenever they needed ?? When Knowingly, Unknowingly guided few people to good heights in life ?? When i had to organize my own part i program in Southern Africa ??? I don't know... But I knew this for sure .. that many times It was cluttered with my ambitions... it got effected with my negative emotions.... It took time to settle down...  Decided not to take up a Job and dedicate my life to the Society...  thought this is the last mile and crossed...  Realized that... I was looking for appreciation from the people... it did not come ... Gave up... thought this is the last mile and crossed...  But then I was looking for atleast an acknowledgment from the people... it did no...

When God Acknowledged His own Expressions through me... Received the prestigious Acharya Ratnanada Literary Award from Gurudev for this Expression... Harmony - Evolution towards Perfection For Every Tear which fell on this Earth I am accountable... I Cried when i am not in Harmony with myself or the Situations around me... I made others cry when i was not in Harmony with them.... And it is the same with everyone... Wanted to stop before it floods and wipes of everyone....  I worked on correcting others around me.. I worked on correcting Situations around me.. Failed....Tired... Tears of Disharmony continued.. Thanks to my Master.. Thanks to the spiritual practices ..  I Dived Deep inside me...  I t happened .. Lovingly Nature forced it on me ... I found... My Nature is Harmony...  Conflict is only in the surface... I realized... To be in Harmony is my birth right... To be in Harmony is my Goal.... To be in Harmo...

Let us meet never... For I am afraid by meeting it will die off... For I am afraid by speaking it will lose its value... For I am afraid by expressing it will fade away... For I am afraid by seeing each other it will turn to possessiveness.. For I am afraid it will end the wait.... It is painful to say Let us meet never.. Even when I know you have kindled this in me..... Even when I know i may have to lose it some time.... But please... For now let me sing with it.... For now let me dance with it... For now let me merge in it.... For now let me dissolve in it... For now let me wait for it..... It makes me lovingly restless...  It makes me actively silent... it makes me speechlessly happy... It makes me dynamically settled in me..... It makes me painfully sweet... With this sweet pain I request you... please.. let us meet never... Every attempt I fail to meet you.. something in me cries for you.. at the same time something in me intensifies ... How can...

Volunteer ... I don't know when i became a volunteer .. or have i become one till now.... Volunteering was not easy for many...  It meant to be getting thrown out of the house... One feels this literally when not involved in many decisions at home It meant to be seen like a useless by parents, relatives etc... One feels when not able to contribute time and money to the family... It meant to be depending on others... One feels this when in need for Money, Clothes or for other needs .... It meant to be sailing through many insecurities... One feels this when thinking about the future, old age and bank balance... It meant to be losing many relationships.... One feels when the loved ones distance themselves ... Many Cried and Left.. Few Continued... Few Drowned.. Folks are you experiencing any of this ???  Hold on and Sail through...   A true Volunteer have to Sail through... But when he sails through and survives ... Later Volunteering became easy...

Is there always a conflict between Idealism and Reality ?? Is there always a conflict between Idealism and Practicality ??? I do not know ..... But one thing I know in there is a conflict between Idealism and My Desires.... I examined the source of my ideals... Some have born with me... Some have been shaped through my experiences in my life... Some have been inspired by many thought leaders.... Some have been inspired by my Master..... My Desires.... It wants to take me in a different direction... It is very tempting... But some thing tells me that this is not the right way.... If this thought would not have come at all... What if i had to realize this very late.. that this was a wrong path... Is it fear of losing ?? Is it lack of skills ??? Why not going behind them... But some thing tells me that this is not the right way.... My Ideals... I have bet my life on these Ideals.. Is it worth it ?? Am i not doing anything for these??? To make it a Reality... Have ...

When I used to see other children wearing new or costly dresses, As a child I used to think If I would had a very rich father or if some day if a rich person comes to me and takes to me to the shop and say buy what you want.  That would have been my dream come true…  I used to always think one day such a person will come … With all my gratitude I remember that my parents as they have done everything possible and more than their capacity to make my life as best and comfortable as possible in this planet.  Still the small mind thought in these ways… Then when I started earning for myself when I knew I can buy what I want these thoughts never used to bother me… That person did come in to my life… Also for some reason when I used to see some of my friends parents I used to think they were such nice parents and I always thought and dreamt of a loving family (now I realize I was expecting better way of expressions...) where there were no fights.. no jealou...

Seconds passed.. They were like Hours... Minutes passed... They were like Days... An Hour passed ... It was like an Hundred years.... She never came... After 2 years i was meeting her... It was humiliating .... It was hurting ... Felt insecure... Felt let down... Next What.... Waiting in that Chinese Restaurant i had ordered a special dinner with a candle light on the table...  To impress her after my 2 years of foreign stay...even though i did not have much money :-) Not only i was waiting ..  even the waiters were... They felt more sad than me I guess... When leaving the restaurant with heavy heart... I did not know that will change my life... If She would have come i would have been a married man with three kids and supporting her and family....But today I support my One world Family... This is not one case... Many times in Life many things happen which are uncomfortable... But we donot realize it may be a good change in Life.... When I changed 9 indust...